Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I live in the Twilight Zone.

So, this morning, I'm drivin' along with like half a tank of gas, on my merry way to my first and only class of the day.  ALL OF A SUDDEN, my car just starts inexplicably decelerating.  All by itself!  And I'm like UUUHHHHHH WHAT?  I could not speed up, so I pulled over as much as I could before it died completely.  I just sat there in disbelief, staring at the dashboard of this silver Audi that I actually had come to like.  The engine wouldn't turn over, and I was totally baffled. But luckily!  I just so happened to break down right down the road from my ex-boyfriend Zeb's grandparents house!  So, I turned my four-ways on, grabbed my bag, and walked there, cursing the world and swearing the whole way (Ex: "YEAH LET'S GO FOR A FUCKING WALK ::mumble mumble::").  I went inside and said hi and called my dad.  While I waited for him to come, I hung out and caught up with Zeb's grandparents, which was cool.

So my dad finally gets there, and we go to the car, and he explains that it seems like there is a problem with the fuel line or something?  Well anyway, SOMETHING made the car think it was out of gas, when in reality it wasn't.  So after fucking with the car and poking things ant hitting things, we have to push it off the road further, because it had died before I could properly pull over.  So we pull at this tank of a car for like five minutes until it's finally off the road quite a bit, and then we hop in the Jeep my dad came in and drive away.

Skip ahead about an hour: I'm driving the Jeep back to my house, while Dad and his cousin Dave are going to look at the Audi.  So, I pull in my driveway, and as I pull in, I notice mail in the mailbox.  So, being the nice guy (note: I am not a guy) that I am, I throw the Jeep into park and get out and grab the mail.  There's this big package that says something like "For strong moms!" on it, and a bunch of other stuff addressed to my mom.  So I grab all this and climb back into the Jeep, put it in drive and go to pull forward and park.  Except the Jeep won't move.  It seemed like it was stuck.  So I put it in 4 Wheel Drive, but that didn't make any difference.  I get out with every intention of digging out the tires so it can go, but the tires aren't stuck, or sunk in, or anything.  SO, I get back in, once again baffled, and decided to try reverse instead.  Okay, I can back up, hooray!  Let's try drive again. OH NOW IT WORKS.  So I pull in, and park, and lug my ass and the mail inside.

So, this box that says Strong Moms or whatever? Yeah, it's addressed to my 15 year old sister, and it's got two huge tins of formula inside.  Taylor's been getting all this weird, inexplicable mail about becoming a Teen Mom (which, you know... she ISN'T), and I feel like it's all peaked at this moment.  I think it's hilarious, but my mom is totally freaking out.

All this before noon.  Oh boy.

/end incoherent blog post.

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