Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I'm nice to you. That doesn't mean I want your dick.

And/or vagina.

I'm nice to E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. Literally, everyone.I see someone new, I smile at them. I say hi to every person I meet, and every customer that comes to my register at work. I laugh at your terrible jokes, and I don't put you down. I'm a nice person, regardless of your age, gender, or race.

APPARENTLY, this all means that I'm flirting with everyone, all day every day. A 40+ year old man tried to kiss me the last week because he thought we had a thing. A girl asked a friend of mine if I'm gay because she thought I was hitting on her. A guy I know will not leave me the fuck alone, because he loves me and is POSITIVE the feeling is mutual, even though he's been in the same committed relationship for four years.

I think that a genuine smile can really make someone's day. Apparently, my genuine smiles only serve to make your dick hard.


  1. LOL. Oh dear. It's really unfortunate, but there are just some people you can NOT be nice to because they can't distinguish between niceties and mere pleasantries and a come on. I've also learned this the hard way, and it's irritating.

  2. Yeah... guys are nuts. As a teenager, I once smiled at someone's funny sticker on their car window. I couldn't even see through the window it was so dark, but the middle-aged man inside thought I was smiling at him... and proceeded to follow me. For miles. Yeah that was fun. Ew.

  3. You can't have my dick anyway! It's already taken by a Nazi bitch.

  4. Evidently you have "dick" on the brain. You
    are stuck up aren't you?