Handicapped Taste Buds

2011-02-25T18:44:00.001-05:00

Maybe I don't want to live like this any more.

NICKI

2010-11-18T00:08:00.000-05:00

I haven't forgotten about your drawing!
I promise!

I'm nice to you. That doesn't mean I want your dick.

2010-08-11T12:55:00.000-04:00

And/or vagina.

I'm nice to E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. Literally, everyone.I see someone new, I smile at them. I say hi to every person I meet, and every customer that comes to my register at work. I laugh at your terrible jokes, and I don't put you down. I'm a nice person, regardless of your age, gender, or race.

APPARENTLY, this all means that I'm flirting with everyone, all day every day. A 40+ year old man tried to kiss me the last week because he thought we had a thing. A girl asked a friend of mine if I'm gay because she thought I was hitting on her. A guy I know will not leave me the fuck alone, because he loves me and is POSITIVE the feeling is mutual, even though he's been in the same committed relationship for four years.

I think that a genuine smile can really make someone's day. Apparently, my genuine smiles only serve to make your dick hard.

Today, just across the street from me, a man stabbed his girlfriend in the chest.

2010-07-24T02:32:00.002-04:00

All I know is that the police finally caught up with the guy after he ran. I have no clue as to the girl’s condition, though, and I wish I did.

I was working when it happened, and after the police and ambulances arrived, I had to go outside to get ice. I heard someone scream, in some kind of pain. At the time I didn’t know what had really happened, but now I realize it was probably that poor girl yelling. Never before have I wanted to help someone so badly, but there was absolutely nothing I could have done. I went back inside and hoped for the best.

The most disgusting part was how jaded everyone seemed to be by it. Customers would ask what had happened, and I would tell them. They would say “Wow” or something of the like, crack a joke such as “What is this, NYC?”, gather their things and leave. Even the kids, who for some reason were allowed to run around alone at 10pm, were strangely okay with the fact that there was an active crime scene across the street. A girl of about seven initially informed of what had happened. I commented on the police sirens and she calmly stated, “Oh yeah, someone got stabbed”, shrugged, and then left.

My drive to work for law enforcement has never been this strong. I never again want to be so near a tragedy like that and be completely helpless.

I have no idea how the girl is. I don’t know if she died at the scene, at the hospital, or if she’s still alive.

All of this happened in a city I had previously felt safe in. I often work late and was never afraid to walk alone to my car. Hell, I sometimes took walks for a few blocks before I drove home. I think it’s safe to say that my attitude toward Johnstown has completely changed, even if only temporarily.

I don't know this girl. I don't know her name, what she looks like, who her family is. I'm not terribly religious. But I will pray for her. I will pray to whatever god she may happen to believe in, to the god that I believe in, and whatever else could have some impact on her. I don't know if it will do any good, but it's the only thing I can do. I hope for the best, for her and her family and friends.

In which souls are bared.

2010-07-19T00:49:00.005-04:00

Ever since I finally landed my first real job, I’ve met so many amazing people. Some are customers, some are coworkers, some are superiors. Some I really look up to. Today, one of my favorite people to work with, a girl who is very happy, upbeat and incredibly smart, reached in front of me at the milkshake machine. I glanced down and did an almost literal double-take. Her left arm, inches from my nose, was littered with long, straight scars. Scars from razors. Scars from self inflicted pain.

Scars from cutting.

I was stunned. As I started walking away, I really began to think. This girl is an amazing person. She’s independent, works two very well paying jobs, leads an all-around healthy lifestyle, and inspires me on a daily basis. Judging by how faded the scars were, she has long moved on from her days of self-harm. Even so, the whole situation struck me.

I suffer from depression. While I have never hurt myself or those around me in any physical way, that doesn’t mean my condition is any less serious than someone’s who has done these things. Seeing those long-faded cuts on such a young and vibrant girl really hit home. As someone that struggles almost daily to build up the will to get out of bed and carry on my day as a functioning member of society, I know what it is like to be trapped with your own, not-always-so-pleasant thoughts. I know depression, I know sadness, and I know pain. I know how hard it all can be.

This is a post. A post commemorating the struggle my friend overcame. A post confessing things about myself that I have never said out loud. A post to let you know that everything will turn out right. You will overcome. It may seem hopeless, pointless, scary, or just plain horrible, but it will get better. The clouds will clear, the sun will shine, and the birds will sing. You will smile again, you will laugh again. There are people out there that love and care about you. I know that these words may seem like just that: pointless words. But I promise you, they are much, much more. They come from experience, first and second-hand. These words are here to spur you forward, to help you help yourself. These words aren’t trying to downplay what you may be going through. The reason for these words is a simple one: to help.

So please. If you are thinking about hurting yourself or others, stop. Pick up the phone and call someone you love, someone you hate, someone you don’t even know. There is help out there, even in places you least expect to find it. There is love, waiting for you to let it into your life. Stop. Breathe. Think.

There is always hope.

This is a post about some things.

2010-07-04T13:38:00.000-04:00

I'm bad at Blogger.
Like, REALLY bad.
You all always comment me and give me love, and I'm terrible at returning the favor. I love all of you, you're amazing people. I just am really bad at keeping up with everything. I do try to read every post you all make, but holy poops does it get overwhelming. I'm a very busy girl almost every day of my life, and Blogger has been rather rudely shoved aside.
Basically, the whole point of this post is a.) to apologize for my suckishness, and b.) to tell you how much you all rock. You're talented writers, photographers, artists, etc, and I appreciate the work it takes to do all of those things. I know that every post, drawing, painting, photo, EVERYTHING, takes time and effort, and every one of you throws yourselves into these things entirely. You're amazing.

I'm not trying to make excuses for why I don't comment a lot. I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for me. I'm not trying to fish for compliments. I'm trying to let you all know that you're absolutely incredible people.

Love and Cheez-Its,
Michaela.

"It’s football to you, soccer to me."

2010-07-02T00:05:00.004-04:00

Full article is here, but this is the best part:

Coupled with their team’s humiliating exit from the World Cup it might be another rude awakening to the Brits that soccer isn’t an American term, it is actually an English one. And it isn’t some modern fad that shows disrespect to the world’s most popular sport, it dates back to the earliest days of the game’s professional history.
Indeed, until the last few decades, even Englishmen would routinely refer to their favorite pastime as soccer, just as often as they would say football.
Clive Toye, an Englishman who moved to the U.S. and became known as the father of modern American soccer, bringing Brazilian legend Pele to play for the New York Cosmos, takes up the story.
“Soccer is a synonym for football,” said Toye, who helped launch the North American Soccer League in the late 1960s. “And it has been used as such for more years than I can count. When I was a kid in England and grabbed a ball to go out and play … I would just as easily have said: ‘Let’s have a game of soccer’ as I would use the word ‘football’ instead. And I didn’t start it.”
To trace the origin of “soccer” we must go all the way back to 1863, and a meeting of gentlemen at a London pub, who congregated with the purpose of standardizing the rules of “football,” which was in its infant years as an organized sport but was growing rapidly in popularity.
Those assembled became the founding members of the Football Association (which still oversees the game in England to this day). And they decided to call their code Association Football, to differentiate it from Rugby Football.
A quirk of British culture is the permanent need to familiarize names by shortening them. “My friend Brian Johnston was Johnners,” said Toye. “They took the third, fourth and fifth letters of Association and called it SOCcer. So there you are.”
So forget that English condescension and carry on calling it soccer, safe in the knowledge that you’re more in tune with the roots of the sport than those mocking Brits.

What, bitch.

I have like no friends.

2010-06-30T03:28:00.001-04:00

Which is lame.

Characters (and real people) I might possibly share a personality type with.

2010-06-27T16:05:00.002-04:00

I'm an INFP, and after a bit of research (read: Google), I've determined that these characters are also INFPs. Which actually makes a LOT of sense now that I think about it, because every name on this list represents someone I've really felt a connection with, especially the fictional characters. Many of them come from my favorite books or movies, and most were my favorite characters in those stories.

Frodo
Don Quixote
Todd Anderson from Dead Poet’s Society
Abraham Lincoln
Marty McFly
The Scarecrow
Luke Skywalker
Pink from The Wall
Alice from Alice in Wonderland
Nicole from Cycle 13 of ANTM
Willy Wonka
Kiki from Kiki’s Delivery Service
J.R.R. Tolkien
Luna Lovegood
Remus Lupin
Matthew Gray Gubler
Holden Caulfield
Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes
Tommy Pickles.
Rocko from Rocko’s Modern Life
Bran Stark from A Song of Ice and Fire
Charles Wallace Murray from A Wrinkle in Time
Doug Funnie
William Shakespeare.
Winston Smith from 1984
Juliet and Romeo
JD from Scrubs
Link from The Legend of Zelda
Josie Geller from Never Been Kissed
Ofelia from Pan’s Labyrinth

What MBTI type are you? I'm curious to find out. :3

Ten Things.

2010-06-03T14:40:00.001-04:00

My fellow Blogger Nicki recently posted this on her blog over at Kaleidoscope Thrills, and I definitely wanted to do it. She makes several good points about the lack of self love in the world, so I'm going to love my inner and outer self for the next few bullets. =]

"Inner 5"

1) I'm intelligent, and about a lot of different things. I have the grades, in both high school and college, to back up that claim. I know about things from cars and computers to animals and people. I also have the life experience to say that I'm about as street smart as a girl from a small country town can be.

2) I'm well spoken and well written, which I believe comes from being well read. I can hold my own in an interview or debate, and I am almost always able to back up my opinion with solid arguments and facts. That being said, I also know when I've been beaten, and when I should step down. Interviewers and new acquaintances often compliment me on how well I am able to express myself.

3) I have a great sense of humor. I love to laugh, and I love to make people laugh. I've often been told that I'm funny, and I humbly agree. =P

4) I'm musical. I play multiple instruments, and I'm learning more every day. I love to sing, and I think I'm fairly good at it. I listen to a wide variety of music, and I feel that doing so really broadens my horizons.

5) I'm nice. To everyone. Unless you've given me a valid reason to dislike you, I am kind. I go out of my way to help people, and I'm always polite. I think that has a lot to do with how I was brought up.

"Outer 5"

1) I absolutely love my height. Being five feet tall is fantastic. In an odd sort of way, it helps me stand out.

2) I have nice lips, which is strange for me to say, as lips aren't something I generally notice. However, several people on several separate occasions have complimented them, and I've come to notice that they kind of rock. =P

3) I also get regular compliments on my legs (butt included ;P ), which is rare for a girl of my stature. Nonetheless, they're proportioned well to the rest of my figure, and I know what kinds of shorts and pants to wear to show them off.

4) I love having small feet. Most things about me are rather petite, and my feet are no exception. They're of such a shape and size that I can wear both girl's/women's AND boy's/men's shoes comfortably, which really fits in with my life style. I can seamlessly switch between a size 5.5 pair of heels into a men's size 4 pair skate shoes. I love it.

5) My long hair is a big part of who I am. I've only cut it short twice in my life, and while it was okay, I was eager for it to grow back each time. So many women and girls have short hair these days, and having hair that hangs almost to my waist helps to set me apart. (That being said, I'm cutting it off and donating it this summer. =X )

What do you love about yourself? I'd love to know. Post your ten in the comments, or leave me a link. =]

I modeled today!

2010-05-04T21:43:00.000-04:00

Ohmygosh, it was totally fun.
I got a CD of the pictures unedited, and he's mailing me the snazzied-up ones later.
My favorite of the day, that I couldn't resist makin' pretty:

Like I said. Super fun.

Less-Than-Three

2010-04-24T12:25:00.001-04:00

"Go after her, fuck, don't sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that's what you should do if you love someone, don't wait for them to give you a sign 'cause it might never come, don't let people happen to you, don't let me happen to you, or her, she's not a fucking television show or tornado. there are people i might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and i always thought i'd be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can't just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone's idea of love but it is the way i can recognize it because that is what i do. go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really."

Why

2010-04-12T13:25:00.001-04:00

are we talking about Rent right now? I hate it.

So.

2010-04-07T22:39:00.002-04:00

I have to write a story, in one of three genres: detective fiction, horror, or science fiction.
I can't even think of a topic.
Help?

My Adventures in Drving!

2010-03-29T12:57:00.001-04:00

So, I got a flat tire on Saturday. I'm not sure HOW I have such terrible luck with cars, I just know that I do.
Since I started school in September, I've been on the side (or off) of the road five times. Five! In like six months!
This first time was on my first day of school. I'm drivin' through town, and HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT SOUND? It sounded like my muffler was dragging behind the car. So I pulled over, got out, and oh hey, my muffler was dragging behind the car. So, me and my mommy (because, mind, I only had my permit at this point) spent about half an hour trying to get the muffler the REST of the way off. Which was fun. And I was late to my first ever college class.
The second time, I do believe, was when I was on the way to the mall with my good buddy Tai, and I hit a drift of snow and spun into a field (Yes, a field. This is the country. There are a lot of them). And because the bank was so steep, we had to get towed out by this teeny little Jeep thing that belonged to a friend of my dad's. But until he got there, we sat in the middle of some dude's field in about 20 degree weather for half an hour, cheerfully waving on the seventeen people that stopped to help.
Incident number three I mentioned a few posts ago; My fuel pump shit the bed and I hung out with Zeb's grandparents for a while.
The fourth time was the first one that was completely and utterly my fault. On my way to college one day, I ran out of gas smack-dab in the middle of a total dead zone. After sitting in the car for around fifteen minutes, sizing up the two houses I was closest to, trying to decide which was less creepy (because, let's face it, when you're a nineteen year old girl in the middle of nowhere, with no cell phone or car, EVERYTHING is creepy), I finally chose the creepier of the two because it was closest, and there was actually a car in the driveway. Plus, it was raining. Who wants to walk in the rain? Not me. It turned out that the guy that lived there was totally cool, and his dog was so adorable. I called my parents and waited there until someone came to my rescue. I'm totally making that dude a cake. He rocked.
Aaaaand number five happened Saturday. I was drivin' along, headin' home from dance class (shut up) with my cousin Sam, when the sound coming from the open sun roof changed abruptly from the regular ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff sound that you hear when the windows are down to an unfamiliar, roaring BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. So Sam and I proceeded to assume the worst and pulled over. We both got out, and I checked out the tires on my side. Just as I was breathing a sigh of relief because they were both completely intact, Sam let out an "Ooooooh boy" from the other side of the car. The back right tire was totally flat, with a puncture in the side wall. If there had been a jack in the car, I could have changed it, but as it was I had to call my dad, and he had to borrow a jack and then come help us.
So yeah. Good fuckin' times, man.

My Bucket List.

2010-03-17T23:17:00.001-04:00

I know this is probably hardcore bandwagon jumping, but I used theburiedlife.com to put up my list.

Check that shit out, and tell me what you think. What should I add? Do you have a bucket list? GET AT ME

How many times can I use the word Stop?

2010-03-12T16:07:00.000-05:00

Stop hating me. I haven't done anything wrong.
Stop judging me. You've got no right.
Stop being bitchy. It's not attractive.
Stop talking shit. I WILL find out.
Stop being fucking stupid. Okay?
Just... stop. Stop.

Well then.

2010-03-04T16:17:00.002-05:00

4chan makes me worry about the future of society.

That is all.

OH GOD

2010-02-28T18:44:00.000-05:00

I think that I am in possession of an original Nintendo game called Stadium Events. If that name doesn't mean anything to you, it should, because it's worth approximately 13 thousand dollars.
The scavenger hunt begins.

I live in the Twilight Zone.

2010-02-23T12:36:00.004-05:00

So, this morning, I'm drivin' along with like half a tank of gas, on my merry way to my first and only class of the day. ALL OF A SUDDEN, my car just starts inexplicably decelerating. All by itself! And I'm like UUUHHHHHH WHAT? I could not speed up, so I pulled over as much as I could before it died completely. I just sat there in disbelief, staring at the dashboard of this silver Audi that I actually had come to like. The engine wouldn't turn over, and I was totally baffled. But luckily! I just so happened to break down right down the road from my ex-boyfriend Zeb's grandparents house! So, I turned my four-ways on, grabbed my bag, and walked there, cursing the world and swearing the whole way (Ex: "YEAH LET'S GO FOR A FUCKING WALK ::mumble mumble::"). I went inside and said hi and called my dad. While I waited for him to come, I hung out and caught up with Zeb's grandparents, which was cool.

So my dad finally gets there, and we go to the car, and he explains that it seems like there is a problem with the fuel line or something? Well anyway, SOMETHING made the car think it was out of gas, when in reality it wasn't. So after fucking with the car and poking things ant hitting things, we have to push it off the road further, because it had died before I could properly pull over. So we pull at this tank of a car for like five minutes until it's finally off the road quite a bit, and then we hop in the Jeep my dad came in and drive away.

Skip ahead about an hour: I'm driving the Jeep back to my house, while Dad and his cousin Dave are going to look at the Audi. So, I pull in my driveway, and as I pull in, I notice mail in the mailbox. So, being the nice guy (note: I am not a guy) that I am, I throw the Jeep into park and get out and grab the mail. There's this big package that says something like "For strong moms!" on it, and a bunch of other stuff addressed to my mom. So I grab all this and climb back into the Jeep, put it in drive and go to pull forward and park. Except the Jeep won't move. It seemed like it was stuck. So I put it in 4 Wheel Drive, but that didn't make any difference. I get out with every intention of digging out the tires so it can go, but the tires aren't stuck, or sunk in, or anything. SO, I get back in, once again baffled, and decided to try reverse instead. Okay, I can back up, hooray! Let's try drive again. OH NOW IT WORKS. So I pull in, and park, and lug my ass and the mail inside.

So, this box that says Strong Moms or whatever? Yeah, it's addressed to my 15 year old sister, and it's got two huge tins of formula inside. Taylor's been getting all this weird, inexplicable mail about becoming a Teen Mom (which, you know... she ISN'T), and I feel like it's all peaked at this moment. I think it's hilarious, but my mom is totally freaking out.

All this before noon. Oh boy.

/end incoherent blog post.

Emo Kid Post Ahead.

2010-02-21T00:03:00.001-05:00

::WARNING::

I'm in a bad fucking mood.

I'm really sick of being betrayed by people I loved and/or cared about. Best friends aren't supposed to lie, and boyfriends don't break up with you for no legitimate reason and then go fuck around with a fourteen year old. So here we go.

You're my friends (or were) and I really enjoyed spending time with you. Apparently, the feeling wasn't mutual. Have a nice life.

I LOVED you. LOVE. This is not a word I take lightly. You were amazing, and perfect. What the hell happened? Is drastically changing your personality so you turn into a huge douchebag asshole the cool new thing? Because it sucks. You're supposed to be an adult. Meaning, you're supposed to take responsibility for your actions. You can't just assume things are getting mucky and then fucking run away. Most SANE people try to work things out before letting everything go to shit. But apparently you're a fucking idiot. How many girls have you fucked over? How many people have fallen for your bullshit? It's a shame that you're just going to keep tearing through unsuspecting girls, breaking their fucking hearts, all while looking for your definition of love. What we had was love, sweetie, whether you want to admit it or not. Just because we're not together anymore doesn't mean we never happened. But to you, I'm just another failed fling. And to me, you're just another let down.

Don't lie to me, because I WILL find out. Don't just cut me from your life, because I will DEMAND a reason. And Don't. Talk. Shit. Because I will fucking destroy you.

I have a Bucket List.

2010-02-18T21:48:00.000-05:00

I'm debating posting it up here, just because I like to hear and see other people's opinions about it.
I'm hesitant though, because some of them are pretty personal.
This is a pointless blog.

"You came to OUR country, you learn OUR language"? Suck my balls.

2010-02-17T15:37:00.000-05:00

The ignorance of the people in this country astounds me. If you REALLY have the mentality that people that come here need to learn English, you’re WRONG. Don’t even try to defend the point, because there’s no way you can justify it. If you’re going to force people to learn America’s “native language”, try some Cherokee on for size.

Here's a Facebook group against the close-minded jerks.

Show it some love.

Got myself a Tumblr!

2010-02-15T18:25:00.002-05:00

Seems more appropriate than Blogger for my inane ramblings and postings. Don't worry, though, Blogger won't be neglected by any means.

http://mcxtrash.tumblr.com/ Hit me up.

Oh dear.

2010-02-08T13:25:00.004-05:00

I had a pretty emo kid blog lined up for today, but recent events in my life have turned that around.

I’ve met some fantastic people, for once. And they don’t really seem like they hate me, which is cool. And, even though this is very unlike me, I seem to have developed the teeniest bit of a crush. =3

Weird, yeah? I mean, I’m pretty thrown. I’m not sure how to go about handling this. This isn’t something that happens to me. I mean, I barely know the kid, but I feel strangely drawn to him. I really think we’ve been hitting it off pretty well, but maybe I’m wrong. And anyway, I think he’s already involved with someone. But, that doesn’t matter, right? Because this is just me being marginally stupid.

He’s pretty cute, though.

In which I muse.

2010-02-03T12:58:00.001-05:00

My Bio professor is an Evolutionist. Which is cool, I guess, because learning about new things is fascinating to me. But there are some holes in the evolutionary theory, and I may only be a 19 year old kid, but they seem like gaping holes to me. In the second day of class, he handed out a chart of organism development over the past bazillion years, and at one point, called the Cambrian Explosion, all of a sudden, land animals appear! Well, okay, but why? He didn’t seem to have a straight answer for me.

Among others, this is the main reason I find Evolution such a sketchy theory: the idea of adaptations. For example, the whole ‘Monkeys-into-People’ idea. Well alright, sure, monkeys stood up, lost some hair, grew some smarts, and got called Humans. Well I have a few problems with that. This is how I look at it – If I have a big, ugly nose and I’m not happy with it, I’ll get a nose job and then I look cute (this is hypothetical, of course. I’m not one for cosmetic surgery). So now I’ve got this great nose and I’m totally hot, I marry some cutie and we have kids. HOWEVER, no matter what I’ve done to my body, my children will have my former big, ugly nose. Because no matter how I change my physical appearance, my DNA and genes and all that shit stay the same.

So how, exactly, does evolution work? If one monkey decided he wanted to stand up straight and walk around on two legs and lose some hair, good for him. But when he finds a nice lady monkey and they have nice monkey babies, those monkey babies are going to be just that: Monkeys. No matter what Daddy did to his body, his genes stayed the same, and THAT is what gets passed to monkey babies.

SO, in semi-conclusion, unless organisms figured out a way to change their genetic make-up, Evolution doesn’t make sense. But maybe that’s the point: those things DID figure out a way to change their DNA and stuff. But if that’s the case, maybe that should be the first thing an Evolutionist Bio professor teaches. And then his students would spend their time in class writing about all the reasons they’re confused.

So all in all, these are the musings of a 19 year old, first-year college student. Cut me some slack.

Oh, today.

2010-02-01T18:42:00.000-05:00

I had a dream about that boy again last night. He didn’t talk, or really do anything at all. But he was there. And I still don’t remember what he looked like. XD

The dream he was in was so weird, I think it carried over into my day. I’ve been so rushed in everything that I haven’t had a chance to eat, but I’m not even close to hungry. Kinda thirsty, though. Bio class was actually enjoyable, and Step Aerobics was actually hard work. In Modern Drama we watched a movie like we’re in fucking junior high, which was really amusing. And then on my hour break, I hung out with Ann-Marie and her amigos that I didn’t know. I couldn’t really tell if they liked me or not, but I had fun, and they’re a pretty cool bunch. Although sometimes, the facts in my head get bored and like to take a walk in my mouth, so when Daniel sneezed, I for some reason blurted out “A SNEEZE IS AN EIGHTH OF AN ORGASM”.

Balls.

At least he laughed.

Ugh.

2010-01-31T23:40:00.001-05:00

Have I mentioned how much I hate mainstream music? Because I fucking hate mainstream music.

This is pointless.

2010-01-30T21:35:00.001-05:00

But I'll post it anyway. I wrote all this in a class yesterday.

Okay. Bored in class. There are like twelve new people so the professor is going over the syllabus AGAIN. So Blogger is what I turn to. I’m pathetic, aren’t I?

He just used me as an example of an attentive student. How amusing.

I get the feeling a lot of blogs are going to be written in this class. It seems super tedious. The first test is going to have three fucking essays on it. I’m thinking about taking a page out of TFLN’s book and just drawing pictures of cats.

I’m a little sad that I missed auditions for this semester’s play. It’s a musical and I really wanted to try out, but they were months ago. D=

I’m fucking exhausted. It’s a little ridiculous. I want to go home and sleep, but I know when I get there I’ll just sit down and play Mass Effect. Which is cool! But I should really sleep. Although, it IS the weekend…

Now we’re talking about Avatar? Maybe I should start paying attention. Although, almost everyone else appears to be a fucking idiot in here, so maybe I should keep zoning out. I feel like I’ll lose brain cells if I listen to these people ask any more questions.

I feel bad, though. I like this professor, but the people in here, god DAMN they are annoying.

God I hope not.

2010-01-26T13:52:00.000-05:00

Most people have recurring dreams - I have recurring characters. One, to be specific. I'm not sure that it is someone I know in RL.
Maybe's he's not even a real person.

But he's in so many of my dreams. Or, he used to be. I haven't dreamt* about him in a long time; I've nearly forgotten what he looks like. All I can seem to pull up from the dregs of my memory is that he had blonde hair.
I think.

His name... Now that I think about it, I'm not sure he even HAD a name. But for some reason, 'A' is coming to mind.
Alex?
Austin?
Or maybe it's a letter that looks a bit like an A: M, N, V, W. I can't seem to pull any details together.

But I think if I saw him, I'd know.

Maybe I haven't dreamt about him in so long because I met him. Maybe he was Nick. How disappointing.

*Did you know that 'dreamt' is the only word in the English language that ends in 'mt'? Bad ass.

I've been writing a lot lately.

2010-01-20T22:21:00.000-05:00

Every night before I go to bed, I've been grabbing a notebook and just writing paragraph upon paragraph of my thoughts. I want to post them, but most are pretty personal, and some are even confidential.
I'll probably put up a couple of the less revealing ones. =P

RAWR

2010-01-18T02:40:00.002-05:00

For some reason, my Tweets on the right there are super messed up.

Found out something fuckin' crazy yesterday. I'll talk more about it when it's out in the open. =O

Hourly comics!

2010-01-17T00:54:00.000-05:00

I did a practice run of Hourly Comic Day. http://www.hourlycomic.com/
WOO.
I didn't actually try, and I only did a few hours. But here you go!

Also, I usually draw a lot better than this, but as I said, I didn't try. =P

Holy poop.

2010-01-14T13:22:00.000-05:00

It's been ages since I've posted, sorry to anyone that might actually read this.
I've been writing a lot lately, but with pen and paper rather than a keyboard. It's actually really personal, so I doubt I'll put it up. Again, sorraaaaay.
I have been having weird-ass dreams! Like, I'm pretty sure I got raped in one the other night, and I was definitely a wolf in one I had last night. Shit's weird.

I'm really going to try to start updating regularly again. =]

Mika's new album is super good.

2009-11-29T19:32:00.000-05:00

I've been like accidentally writing a story based on my life, kind of. I just sat down one day and started to write the first things that came to my mind, and everything that came out was shit I've never actually said to anyone. Crazy.

I'm so angry.

2009-11-16T13:49:00.002-05:00

Okay, get this.
Last year, a senior in high school, I was a cheerleader for the third year in a row. Right. So, I cheered, and I was fucking good at it, thank you very much. I made Varsity, yeehaw, and I had pretty high hopes of being a captain. But. We had a new coach, and for some reason, she fucking hated everyone on the team but one girl. So, AND THIS IS SOME CRAZY SHIT, she made THAT GIRL, a junior, Captain of the Varsity team. And, you know, I was mad, but the coach said she did it because I, as a Senior, had a lot on my plate and she didn't want to give me any more unneeded responsibility. And that made sense! So, satisfied, for some reason, with that answer, I went on my merry way, cheered my fucking ASS off the rest of the season, and graduated in June. Woopdi-friggin'-do.
This year, my cousin is on the squad. And that girl that got the captain's position over me is now a Senior. So, if the coach was to be true to her fucking word, a JUNIOR would get the Captains position over her, because she's a busy Senior! But no. This girl got the position again. And when questioned about it by my cousin, who had been there the previous year and heard her explination, she answered,. "Oh, I just said that so the Seniors would stop bitching and shut up."

....

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
This woman is like, a 25 year old former college student or something, coaching and mentoring a group of high school girls that look up to and respect her. And she lies to them on a regular basis, with no apparent remorse. That's not right, in any way, shape, or form. There's no way that I, an 18 year old, naive, recent high school graduate, should be more mature than my former cheerleading coach, up to whom I used to look. When I make a decision and people ask me about it, I give them honest reasons for my choice, even if they don't like it. Because I know that, somewhere down the line, they'll maybe hate me a little less, because I DIDN'T FUCKING LIE TO THEM.

So, my former coach that I did at one point consider an equal, I would like to announce that I have lost what little respect I had left for you. Enjoy corrupting these young girls for however long you so choose. I just hope that someday down the road, you realize that your way of life, and essentially your entire core personality, is corrupted and wrong.

Grow up, and have a nice life.

I fail at blogging. And keeping up with journals.

2009-10-04T22:48:00.000-04:00

So here's both in one go. =P

(I have to do a monologue for Acting, and this is about picking it)

I had a really hard time picking my monologue, to tell the truth. I read through all of the recommended ones, and none of them really jumped out at me, so to speak. So I marked a few of the more interesting ones so I could go back through and read some of the plays. I ended up narrowing it down to three, all belonging to different plays. I ended up only reading the first play I had picked, which was None of the Above. I fell in love with Jaime’s character (I think her name is Jaime. It’s late and I am tired), and even thought I didn’t really care for the plot of the play, I thought the characters were loveable and believable, so I went with it.

I’ve read the play all the way through twice now, and I think I’ve got a pretty decent grasp on her personality, and how her relationship with Clark changes over the course of the play. I’m pretty confident that I’ll be able to do her justice. She’s a pretty deep and complex character, even though at the beginning she seems shallow and stupid. But I suppose figuring that out is the point of the whole play, isn’t it?

I’m actually sort of looking forward to performing this whole deal, but I’m a little nervous, too. I’ve never done a monologue before, so that’s a little unnerving. And the fact that like three other people are doing the same monologue makes me excited and scared at the same time. I mean, I really want to see how different their takes are from mine, but I still sort of feel like there’s a little pressure.

I’m looking forward to my rehearsal as well. I like to get feedback and to know how I can improve, so this is great.

ohai

2009-09-23T16:02:00.000-04:00

Yup. Worst blogger ever.

Yoooo.

2009-09-21T22:56:00.000-04:00

Augh. I'm awful at keeping a schedule, aren't I? Yeah, I'm the worst.
Ah, this is going to be really short because I just got back from dance (shut up I don't want to hear it) and I'm freaking exhausted.
So. Yeah. That's about it.
Good night, then.

You're still here? Damn.
I really don't have anything to talk about. Soooo.
You can go now.
Bye.

Avast!

2009-09-19T22:04:00.003-04:00

The day be filled with the talk o' the gentlemen o' fortune, arr!

I was planning on doing a whole post in pirate, but really I feel like ass and I'm not in the mood. Sorry, Internets. Maybe next year.
I've felt kind of out-of-whack all day, and it's a little weird. I'm pretty sure I know why though. One, I've probably got a cold, and Two, my daily routine drastically (but hopefully only temporarily) changed yesterday. As dorky as this is going to sound, Nick's going to be out of service with his phone until tomorrow, and it's really weird not texting him all day long. At least I think that's the deal, because he's in like East Bum Fuck this weekend. I hope he hasn't decided that he doesn't want to talk to me. Alright, now that you all hate me, moving on...
I have this crazy bug bite on my arm, and it hurts kind of. OH GOD SWINE FLU. Just kidding, of course. You really don't want me to start in on that. Damn H1N1, freaking everyone out.
I got Anberlin's CD months ago, and I just listened to it today, and I have decided that I really like it. Craziness, right? RIGHT.
Well, other than that, I really have nothing to say today. Sorry for the short post, but I really don't want to slip into the habit of skipping it again. That gets out of hand way fast.
Peace out. =P

Today be the day o' pirate talk.

2009-09-19T15:18:00.000-04:00

Me hearties best be expectin' a post in pirate talk afore sundown.

Alright, behavior observation journal.

2009-09-18T22:57:00.000-04:00

Let’s do this.

A lot of times, I’ll notice that taller people tend to walk with their shoulders hunched and their heads down. I usually wonder if this means they are uncomfortable with their height, or if they just get so used to ducking under things that it becomes a habit. =P I’ve also noticed that when people are in a group they’re more likely to look around when they’re walking, whereas people that walk alone look down or at their feet. When I walk, I try to hold my head up and look around, regardless of whether I’m walking alone or not. I try not to cross my arms a lot, but I’ve been told that when I seem uncomfortable, I often play with my hands or grab one arm with the other. I guess that makes sense. It’s like a security thing, probably.

It’s really interesting to me how much you can glean about a person, simply from their body language and posture.

It would seem that males generally move and stand like they are more open to interaction and the like, while females seem like they are mostly closed off. It can sometimes be very hard to judge a person’s personality, because of cell phones, iPods, and things like that that everyone has become so accustomed to. People will often walk around with their nose buried in their phone, ignoring those around them. I know I do it.

I’ve really been enjoying all of my classes, but I’ve gotta say that Acting is my favorite. I really like getting up and actually doing something, rather than staring at PowerPoint all day, every day.

So yeah. I’m not really sure how I’m going to end this, so I guess I’ll just… end it.

Killin' time.

2009-09-17T14:47:00.000-04:00

I've got about an hour until my next class (actually, exactly an hour, good guess, me), and I'm sitting here by myself, so I figure this will help pass the time a little. And I'm fucking tired and want to go to sleep. Buuut I can't so I need something to keep me awake.
Aaron bought me a fucking Big Mac today! Which is awesome, because I was super hungry and I love surprises. Specifically edible ones.
I actually have almost nothing to talk about, which fails a tad, but whatevs.
Oh, I guess I could talk about this couple at the table next to mine that have been there for like two hours, being waaaaay too touchy-feely for such a public place. OH MY GOD they are feeding each other. Seriously? And they keep looking at me like I'm interrupting their little love session. Really? Get a room please. I have just as much right to be here as you, and I'm not being obnoxious.
Oh hey, I finally finished my essay. I got lazy toward the end, so the last two paragraphs aren't very good. And I'm not really sure I fulfilled the requirements of the assignment, which is shitty. But I tried, and it's two pages, so shut up.
My phone has been rather silent all day, I'm a little sad. Oh well.
I might claim this table as mine. It's quiet down here, I'm right near an outlet for my laptop, and other than the dicks next to me, everyone that has come through has been very nice.
I was harassed by some girl earlier to vote for her for student government. Honestly, I couldn't give a shit, but I just told her I was super busy and snuck by. My browser just underlined 'snuck' and told me it's not a word. I thought it was, but now that I look at it, it looks really stupid. Snuck snuck snuck. Snuck.
I wonder how many people actually read this? It's very likely that it's only Kenzie, but whatever.
Oh hey, now that couple is taking turns blowing bubbles with the same piece of gum. Jeeeez.
Mmmm, Mayday just came up on my Zune. They're coming to Northern Lights on November 4th, I should go yeah. I should bring a friend, too. =]
Oh man! I almost forgot. I found someone that shares my love for Tuna Casserole! I didn't know it was possible! All of my friends think it's gross, and Nick said most of the people he knows pretty much hate it, but we both dig it, haha. How nuts is that? We both love snow, and tuna casserole, and our birthdays are like four days apart, and we're both hilarious. =P
Oh YEAH those douchebags are leaving. Fucking finally. Go do it somewhere else please.
Ahhh, life is good, but I'm out of things to talk about. So, I'm out.

Snuck.

He's Only Nine!

2009-09-16T14:42:00.000-04:00

Pooooop I haven't done this in like three days, and I can't spend a lot of time on it now. I have a nap to take, two movies to watch and a two page paper to write.
So for now I'll just sum everything up.
My classes are good, I really like all of them but Soc, and that class is almost unbearable.
I'm not really sure where Nick and I stand. But I mean that in a good way, as strange as it sounds. I think he is sweet and funny, and he seems to be fond of me as well. =P But as of now, I think we're just talking, and trying to work out some time we can see each other, and actually speak face to face rather then phone calls and all day texting.I just hope we work something out soon, =]
Um, hung out with Aaron yesterday. Bullied him into buying a water instead of an energy drink, hahahaha. Okay, so I didn't bully him. Shut up.
I am ridiculously happy lately, and I definitely know why. I'm not sure when the last time I felt like this was, or if I've ever even felt like this before. This is a good thing, and I'm glad I took the time on the way home that day to ask about Tito. =P
Ah, the end. Movie watchin' time. Or maybe nap time. =P

I need a new camera.

2009-09-12T11:09:00.000-04:00

Alright, actually doing morning pages in the morning. Score.
My horoscope is nuts today!! It's all "Oh, someone important to you thanks far away won't be far away much longer. Good things will happen with them". Well I fucking hope so!
I am seriously in love with nevershoutnever. He's so good, and all the music is so mellow and cute and happy and I love it!
Kenzie told me funny Mima stories last night, and I was VERY amused. How does she know this stuff? It's crazy. Makes me lawl.
I'm so hungry. Which is nuts, because when I wake up I NEVER want to eat, not for like three hours.
Dudes, I keep spelling 'because' wrong. My fingers get like overexcited and confused and skip letters and add letters and kajlsfhgkjhafdgari
I'm having a lot of trouble focusing, ugh.
My mom is being a suuuuper creeper, and I'm pretty sure Taylor spilled the beans, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
This is way harder in the morning, because I don't really have anything to talk about, but I guess that's the point, huh?
My grandparents are here, and they are telling me intriguing things. How do grandparents find out about this stuff? It's crazy.
My horoscope makes me happy. =P
I'm probably not going to text a certain city slicker today unless he texts me. Although he did call me again last night... eh, I'm sure I'll cave and end up texting him. It's what I do. =P
OH YEAH he called me again last night. I made an ass out of myself, but I guess he was amused, which is good. I like to make people laugh, especially important, far away people. =P
My lucky color today is green. Score, I love green. And I love luck! So yeah.
I'll wait until AT LEAST one. Okay, maybe noon. To text people, I mean. I'll try. I guess.
I'm rambling. =P
Alright, I REALLY need breakfast, so adios amigos. =]

I have to do a journal for my Fundamentals of Acting class.

2009-09-11T16:36:00.000-04:00

And I'm going to use this for it. One full page. Let's get it on, bitches. (This has been edited as not to offend anyone)

Alright, to be honest I don't really like it here much. I don't know many people, and most of the ones I do know have some kind of problem with me for one reason or another. But I have a few pretty good friends, so I guess that'll hold me over until I graduate. =P

My first few days of school I had intended to keep my head down, so to speak, and just breeze through my classes. Use my four hour break that I have every other day for studying and homework. That worked until I ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. Now we fill in each other's massively long breaks that happen to fall at the same time, and I have to actually do homework at home. Which is pretty great, it’s actually really nice to have someone around to keep you company that knows their way around campus. I’m still having trouble remembering which floor my classes are on.

I've seen some other people that I haven't spoken to in a long time around, but I don't really know if they remember me. I feel like I am sort of forgettable.

I'm so glad it's starting to get cooling and windier. I'm excited about winter, it's my favorite season. It rocks. The snow, the cold. Yeah.

Anyway.

I didn’t expect to at all, but I’m actually really enjoying all but one of my classes so far. The professors are smart, funny and engaging, which really rocks because once I zone out in class, it's all over. And I really like to laugh while I learn, haha.

Honestly, I think Acting is going to be my favorite class, and I'm not just saying that because this is a journal for that class. =P I've acted a little in my school's Pop's Concert (don't ask), and I absolutely loved it. I know it was only a small taste, though, and I want to be able to do it so much more often.

The warming up and everything is pretty awesome. I have the worst class in existence right before the Fundamentals of Acting, and stretching and all that really woke me up. The exercise we did at the end of class Wednesday was pretty interesting. I've never really done anything like that before. And I have always wanted to just run my hand along those giant curtains. =]

I'm sort of bummed that I missed the auditions for the play. But I guess it’s okay, as I didn't know really anything about the play or script, haha. No big deal. I'm pretty excited to see the finished product, though. I’m sort of glad that we have to

I think I’m nearing a page. Possibly. I’m sort of running out of things to write about.

I am, however, exhausted. I haven’t been getting much sleep, so I’m going to wrap this up and take a nap. At 4:30. God that can’t be healthy. =P

Peace out.

Oh, my life. Kicking ASS!

2009-09-10T18:21:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so, my life is pretty much the shit lately. No joke. My classes aren't awful, I actually made a friend, and I have been regularly speaking with someone really awesome. You have every right to be jealous. And it's not often that I say my life rocks, so believe me when I say it. I know when things are shitty, and I know when they are good. And right now, they are beyond good. =]
Becker is on in the other room. I can't decide if I hate that show or not.
I'm going to start making a new paragraph every time I start a new thought. I think I'll feel more organized that way.
I met a cutie today. He was a few tables behind me at the college and he started yelling at his computer. I had to help him with his wireless. He said that he's from Florida, but he was here with his girlfriend, lawlz. He had the kind of accent that is kind of cute and endearing rather than fucking annoying.
Mirror's Edge really infuriates me.
Where's that pizza?
I should take a page from Kenzie's book and Tweet my blog link every time I post. Yes I Tweet, what of it? Aaron found out about me having a Twitter today and I thought he was going to pee he laughed so hard. What's the big deal? It's just like blogging or something. I don't get it. I really like it, and it helps me stay connected with people. How is that a bad thing?
Maybe I should start making this more like a blog and less like morning pages, yeah? I feel like have interesting things to say, but I don't often say them in a coherent manner. Which probably gets pretty annoying.
I wish I could get more readers other than Kenzie. My own sister doesn't read my blog. Is it that bad? =P
I am mildly obsessed with A Day To Remember lately. They're really good, and I feel like I didn't know music until I heard them. Just kidding about that last part, of course, but yeah. They're super good.
Haha, when I just tried to type 'good' I accidentally wrote 'goo'. And I almost left it like that. XD
I like Blogger a lot more than LiveJournal. It's a lot cleaner, or something. Easier to use. I had a LJ once. It was dumb. Actually, I've had many in my day, but I've never stuck with any for more than a few days. I guess Handicapped Taste Buds is doing the best so far. Even though I have one follower, lulz. I want to try Tumbler, too. I guess that's super awesome. But I felt like I had to try Blogger first. Why I'm not sure, but I did.
This blog has got to be almost unreadable, haha. I feel bad for anyone that stumbles across it. Although I would love you forever if you became a regular reader! =]
Alright, I'm out. Adios.

EDIT: I added Reactions to the bottoms of my posts! Take four seconds and tell me what you think, please. =D

Kenzie is really motivating me.

2009-09-09T18:20:00.000-04:00

Seriously, I keep forgetting about this until she is all like, talkin' about it and stuff. Go Kenzie, savin' the day. But anyway. I have to do a journal for my Acting class. maybe I should get on that. My head hurts. My mom and sister went to go work out and stuff, and I stayed home to play video games and eat cheese sandwiches. I regret nothing. I've been getting a lot of 360 messages lately. Michael told me some good things today, only he was being a BUTT about it. But anyway. I had a good day today. I cracked my back in the theater and it actually echoed. It was NUTS. Everyone looked at me and it was really awkward, haha. Why does effing Blogger save drafts so often, jesus shit. FUCKING MIRROR'S EDGE AAAAAHHHHH Ugh it makes me want to rip the disc out and snap it in half. Fuck that game. I've been on the same part for like two hours. It so infuriating. Ugh. BUT ANYWAY I have to pee sort of. Whatever. I'm in a bad mood. Bye.

Dood.

2009-09-08T17:54:00.000-04:00

Yeah, okay, I know. It's like 5:30, not exactly morning. I had planned on doing this after my first class during my four hour wait between classes, but I made a friend! YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT! Actually, I already knew him, but shhhhh. So yeah. He convinced me to not go sit in the library and do nothing, and instead sit in front of the book store, laughing at all the people that failed at opening the door because they're dumb. Because they're dumb and deserved to be laughed at. I'm having epic typing fails today. OHMIGOSH I took notes today! On my laptop! I can't believe that I have ever taken notes longhand before, typing them out was sooooo much faster. My phone is ringing! It was my new friend Aaron, haha. Seriously, four hours passes so much faster when you have actual human interaction. It was a nice change of pace. I really don't hate my classes, either. Although, I almost certain that I don't want to teach anymore, which is nuts. Because I've been pretty sure about wanting to for a while. I don't know. OH OH I'm taking a bartending course next semester! How awesome is that? Apparently the professor for it is like the best teacher in the school, so even if I decide tending bar is gaaaaay, I'll probably stick with it if she's as great as everyone says. My phone batter sucks ass, rawr. It's almost dead already, and I charged it all last night and didn;t unplug it until about 7:30 this morning. What the poop. But anyway. I don't have much more to say because this is WAY harder to do when you haven't just woken up. I guess you like aren't supposed to talk about your day, it's just supposed to be random thoughts, but at this point I'm thinking about my day, so I guess I am defeating the purpose. Kenzie got a blog! It rocks. She's my only follower, haha, so if anyone reads this and wants a Morning Pages induced chuckle, you can find her there. Alright, I have to pee and eat some foodz, so adios!

In which I bitch about being hungry.

2009-09-07T11:51:00.000-04:00

Alright, it's morning again! Sort of! I'm IMing Kathleen because even though we just saw her yesterday I miss her already. she laughed at me for getting up so late but she can bite me. I had a crazy dream the other night. I'm pretty sure I could fly, and I had like magical powers? It was AWESOME, haha. My arm is super sore and I'm not really sure why. At least I remembered to do this today, I failed at life yesterday. Although I must admit I was rather distracted. =] Someone awesome offered to come up and visit me at Caz, but he then admitted that he didn't have a car and I got mad at him for getting my hopes up haha. But anyway, I was being texted incessantly for like four hours and then it just STOPPED and I felt like a dork. =P My head sort of hurts and I'm not sure why. I feel like a creeper if I text someone and they don't text back. Like, do they not want to talk to me? Or what? I get all paranoid and scared. Then I feel like I shouldn't text them for a few days, but if I have something to say to them that's hard, haha. Oh hey Kenzie just texted me so I feel like less of a loser. My head reeeeally hurts. I should grab some breakfast, but I really have to finish this first. Well I don't have to but I want to. It's funny to me that Kenzie follows this blog because it has GOT to be torture to read. I want Taco Bell. I think I could actually LIVE off Taco Bell. We only have like Hot Pockets or something, and they are DEFINITELY not Taco Bell. I really want to get my tattoo. I think my post a few days ago talked about that too, haha. But really, I do. I should set that up sometime soon. I'm STARVING. This isn't as long as it should be, but maybe I should cut it short to go grab some fooooodz. Kenzie isn't texting me anymore. =[ Alright, well, I'm done here. Adios for now. ^^

Oh shit I forgot.

2009-09-06T15:49:00.000-04:00

Yep, this is my morning pages... at like four in the afternoon. Shit. I completely forgot until just now. I have been endlessly texting today. Like endlessly. I'm still at Caz, visiting Kathleen. We have absolutely nothing to do.We went to McDonald's this morning and had cheeseburgers for fucking breakfast. Healthy. We almost got Nick to come up and see us but then he was like "Yeah I don't have a car". What a dick. =P But yeah so we did that aaaaaand now we're bored again. Actually my phone hasn't buzzed in a little while. I think Nick got sick of me, haha. But yeah. Just realized I tried to put an apostrophe in 'went', haha. Fail. That doesn;t work. Hey Kat's roommate just got in. She's cute, haha. Her lip is pierced? Surprise. Anyway. We're talking about shooting stars and shit so I think I'm done for now. This is hard to do in a room full of people. Bai.

11 AM barely counts as morning.

2009-09-05T11:33:00.000-04:00

Alright, first day for morning pages. This is probably going to be a whole big mess of rambling, but I guess that's okay because that's what it's supposed to be? Whatever. I had a weird dream last night, but I shouldn't say too much about it other than it was weird because maybe I don't want the whole world to know what I dream about even though no one is ever going to read this except maybe Kenzie and even she's going to be bored. My back hurts. I just scratched my stomach. I reeeeeally need to find an new tie for my bracelet because it's breaking really bad and pretty soon it's going to fall off and I'm going to lose it nooooooooooooo. I need to wash my hair. This is so weird, I don't really know what to write about. I'm still blinking the sleep out of my eyes. How long should I make this? It should be about three handwritten pages, but how long is that in blog form? I'm not really sure. I'll guess I'll just stop when I get ultra bored. Nathan just asked me for the billionth time what I'm doing this weekend even though I've told him every single time that I'm going to see Kathleen, haha. My phone doesn't know the world 'dibs'. Kat just told me her roommate probably isn't going to be there this weekend and I called dibs on her bed but my phone spelled 'diap', whatever that means. I type like an idiot. Seriously, why the hell do I type with two fingers? I cruise, though. I wish I had taken a typing class or something. Doing this every day this weekend is probably going to be pretty hard. Like, Kathleen and Lindsay aren't going to want to wait around for me to finish pouring my heart out to my shitty blog, haha. Maybe every day I should do a normal post, too. That's two posts a day, though. I've tried one normal post a day on other blogs and I can't handle it, my life isn't interesting enough. My nose really itches, and now that I'm thinking about it, so does my knee and my shoulder and my head. And my lip. Kenzie knows one of the reasons I want to be in Syracuse, haha. I feel like such a little kid sometimes. My browser just saved this draft at 11:11. I went to McDonald's last night and I ordered a Big Mac, and I wished on 11:11 for it to be extra delicious, but it wasn't. Maybe because I wished it out loud. Is this long enough yet? I could keep rambling on for a very long time. There is so much bouncing around my head, trying to get out, but some of it I don't exactly want the whole world to know about. Maybe I should copy and paste this into Word and see how many pages it is. Yeah, I'll do that. I JUST ACCIDENTALLY CUT ALL OF IT, wow. All better, though. Aw, seriously? It's barely a page. I don't know if I can do this for two more pages, Kenzie will get bored, haha. Maybe I'll limit myself to one page-ish. I saw the Time Traveler's Wife last night, because effing Johnstown theater doesn't have Gamer and I'm piiiiiiised. But any way, Time Traveler's Wife was super good, actually, and I usually hate chick flicks. second move ever to make me cry. First movie? Pay It Forward, I've seen it three times and I cry every time I feel like such a dork typing about this but I guess there are people that cry at movies all the time. Well i guess Click sort of made me cry, and so did Bridge to Terabithia, but I had read the book and the book was WAAAAY sadder than the movie so maybe I only cried because I knew the book so well? I dunno. Nathan keeps texting me and throwing off my typing groove. SO DOES KATHLEEN AAAAH. But anyway. I think I'm almost done, because this has GOT to be about a page, and I;m getting a little disgusted with myself that I can even do this endlessly hang on my phone is ringing. Why did I tell you to hang on? I'm retarded. I backspace a lot. I need something interesting to end this with. I want to be a singer guys. Think I can do it? Who am I even asking, haha. No one is going to read this. Alright for real I'm probably done I'll add more if I think of anything I could seriously sit here and just chronicle my whole day. Does chronicle even make sense there? Well i knew what I met. Time to take a shower and do some laundry! Get to see Kat! My scar thing hurts I wonder if I can get a tattoo there yet I'm stooooooked. Asshole Word page won't let me copy and paste this aaaaaah. Oooh now it broke cool. Whatever. My face itches. Also I'm blinking manually. I think this thing saves a draft twice a minute. Everyone in the world should do this, it's very relaxing and not as hard as it sounds I'm glad I'm doing it. Thoughts of things from Syracuse keep crossing my mind but maybe I shouldn't type them because i really DON'T know who is going to read this so I'll keep them to myself. All I'll say is I miss everyone very much and I definitely need to come up more often because one of the best days of my summer happened up there and it was awesome and we all need to dick around like that more often. When I read back through this I'm going to laaaaaauuuuugh so hard. I hate when I don't have a picture of someone in my phone and they text me I get really thrown off kind of. Alright, I'm done I really need breakfast. have a good day, all one of you that is reading this. Maybe I'll be back later with a normal post I dunno. Alright I'm done bye!

Morning Pages.

2009-09-04T13:33:00.000-04:00

Ever heard of them? Morning Pages, from the book The Artist's Way.

http://paperartstudio.tripod.com/artistsway/id3.html

Easy enough to understand, yeah?

That's mostly what this blog is going to be, more than likely.

Unless I actually get some readers, then maybe I'll jazz it up a little. =P